This is my Story

I grew up under false narratives and identities, and got stuck in functional freeze for what is now, the majority of my life. I committed myself to music right around the same time I was first traumatized at the age of 9, and music as a universal and second language on the brain, I believe has kept me going despite the developmental challenges created from Complex-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. 

I'm a survivor of: childhood trauma (a form of familial trafficking which resulted in psychological abuse of a vulnerable 9-year old mind; and near child-abduction); human-trafficking and aggravated sexual assault in my sleep; gangstalking and miscarriage. 

As a 20+year vocalist who once suffered from damaged vocal chords in a surfing accident just before commencing my music degree in college, and a multi-trauma survivor, I am well-informed of the challenges that come from a life where one's voice is oppressed, lost, damaged, taken. 

My struggles with speaking up, setting boundaries, and doing these things from a place of peace and gentleness, not anger and force, led me into my calling as a motivational speaker/performer. Along with this, is my experience in training in music therapy, working with individuals with special needs, including a private client who is nonverbal with autism, and my experience as a music instructor, director, film composer. Speaking and performing on stages is where I get to unify all of my experience in life, my love of music and communication. It's where I get to be authentically myself, where authenticity is at the heart of using one's voice. 

The human voice takes up over half the body. When you use your voice you create blood flow, energy, movement, a rising temperature within the body. When you speak or sing, you are using about 100 muscles in your body. ONE HUNDRED.  

In other words, your voice is everything, it is the organ of your soul. When you speak or sing, you are transmuting a thought or feeling into sound waves. You actually bring your subconscious to its own awareness by emitting sound into the physical realm. Thoughts and aspirations then become a tangible experience to sort through or work towards.

We know that sound can cause things to move. This is true with your voice - where language is a critical part of determining one's steps and healing trauma.

With trauma, with your dreams, with anything, when you give language to them, you are letting them live. With my C-PTSD, I lived for 15 years with a suppressed traumatic memory that I was able to uncover solely by using my voice. You can heal everything in your life, change anything in your life, just by speaking, listening and taking action. 

My passion for this comes from showing up for a 9-year old girl who never spoke the words, "I want to leave," and instead "ran away", hid, and never spoke up about the traumatizing experience she had where her vulnerability was abused. She survived through music and her art. This became a lifelong practice until I finally spoke the language that my brain and body needed so many years ago. I'm the only one who could ever give myself the freedom from it. It was my voice that I shutdown back in the experiences of trauma during my developmental years, it's my voice that must be unlocked in order to live my life.

If you are here and wanting change in your life, just ask yourself, "Is that my voice saying this, or someone else's?" If it is your voice, challenge yourself to reject the negative thoughts and reframe your subconscious mind. 

Get talking.